Monday, 4 October 2010

Marriage stories Chapter 5: Persistence.

Many of my friends/relatives are getting married but it's either a really traditional marriage or I don't have enough details. So this will be my last marriage story till further notice. It's not really interesting but worth mentioning.

I couldn't find photos/drawings/cartoons that suit the story so I'm just gonna throw 2 random funny ones the start telling the story:

Our character in this story is T. S. Al-A. We shall call him T.

I did not live the story with T. He just gave me all the details few weeks before his wedding.

Sheikh T was in his 3rd year in SQU. for the past 2.5 years he has been studying/working closely with one of his female colleagues. He liked her from the beginning but kept his feelings inside. He thought he would get closer then bring up the million Rials question. He later told me that it was a big mistake to follow that approach.


Place: Lab 101

Time: 5.05 pm. Right after the lab session was over.

T and his lab partner made a breakthrough in one of the experiments and got the appreciation from the instructor. After everyone left T thought this was the right moment to pop the question. T didn't go into the details but he gave me "El zibda"*. He told the girl that he really likes her and that he's interested in her. She rejected him. Again, T didn't tell me how she did, what she said or even why she rejected him.


T was shocked. I can't imagine how he felt but he said that even he didn't know how he felt exactly. Frustrated? Sad? Disappointed? All of the forth mentioned? All of that and a million ideas went through his head at the same time. Following "the incident", T got a bad taste in his mouth and marriage was something he neither believed in, nor wanted to talk about. He saw marriage as a negative thing. He even saw women as a negative thing. The insensible man inside him kept telling him "If she rejected you, then who would say yes. everything was perfect with her. she gave you all the positive vibes". I met T during that period. I absolutely HATED him because he was always rude to girls. He would insult guys and girls in public if he sees them talking to each other. He was the guy that would publicly tell you that you are doing a wrong thing, and even if everyone knows it's not wrong, the way he says it makes it sound wrong.

My approach with T was "ib3ed 3an el sharr oo '3aneelah"**. I would keep my distant and in any encounter with him, whatever comment he throws at me, I would laugh and walk away. I didn't even pay attention to what he says and would keep doing what I'm doing.


Months passed, activities/events were organized, and as our big annual exhibition was approaching, me and T were getting closer because of all the work we had to do together. I also started noticing that he became a better person. Could it be because he started knowing me better and maybe that made him realize that people usually have good intentions? As much as I wanted to flatter myself, I felt there was something else affecting him. After 2 years of meeting T (That's 4 years after "the incident") we became good friends.

Ok I guess to understand the story; we need to go back 1 year. T's close friend who's married never gave up on him. He kept telling T how marriage is a good thing once you find the right person and how you can't see the word in one way because of ONE bad experience. He finally convinced T to consider marriage again. T friend's wife had a friend who she really admires. The married couple thought of playing cupid and hooking up T with that girl. As much as hesitant T was, he thought he'd give it a try just to please his friend.

T thought the girl was interesting based on what he heard from his friend. There were couple of phone calls here and there and the frosting on the cake was a photo of the girl :P

What do you know? They liked each other! A lot.


T was determined. He told his parents and they were happy about it. They decided to go to the girl's family house to propose. They were from different town and it would take them 3.5 hours by car to reach her house.

Nothing is perfect in this life. Nothing.

T was rejected again. This time it was the family. however, it was no surprise to him.

The girl told him her family is the type that will only let the women marry their cousins, no one else, not even relatives that are not direct cousins.

That didn't stop T from trying. His family went again, and again, and again. They were rejected 4 times. T never listened to the people telling him "Why this girl? there are many out there, all of them would agree from the first time". T said: "I want that girl, and I will marry that girl". To go propose the 5th time, T didn't just ask his family to accompany him, he also asked people from other close families. This time they were more than 25 men. All dressed up in full traditional clothes, including the Khanjars*** and the Khaizarans****. They all went to her family's house. They got the approval.


"Wow. I never thought that proposing more than once would actually change people's mind. Specially the families that only believe in cousins' marriage" I said commenting on T's story with a dorky smile on my face. T said the only thought going through his head was marrying that girl. "No" was not an option for him.

T is now married and has a beautiful daughter.

End of Blog Entry...


Note: If some of the events don't make sense, it's either because I skipped some details or because I don't remember all the details.


*Zibda: Butter. It's used as "conclusion" in this context.

** a proverb means stay away from problems

***Khanjar: Dagger

**** Khaizaran: A stick made of bamboo wood.


Spot said...

Wow! I really appreciate people like T!
I know a man who spent 7 years of his life proposing to one girl. Her family rejected his proposal for 7 years! But guess what? they're happily married now! The man is in his 40s and his oldest kid is only 9 years and by all means: This man and his wife are the happiest couple I've ever met in my whole life :)!

Giselle said...


Yes! Proposing more the once does the trick's actually quite impressive being that persistent and patient. I have my aunts husband chasing her for a couple of years in which he has proposed 5 times (wrong timings + the same reason as T's refusal) and on the 6th time he got her. Quite romantic tbh

Anonymous said...

well done! Such should be a real man, persistent, able to achieve what he wants

Rummy said...

Now this is really one adamant person. I like his character. 3asa doom he and his wife are happy.